Cause It's Funny

---

Ociffer I swear to drunk I'm not God

but if you want I could show you heaven

Hell, I'll show your whole damn squad 

Look, I'm fine I still got moves like...

stagger, 

stumble, 

Face Plant!!

Hey what's that say, is your name Mike?

Listen Mike I meant to do that

I like those shoes, they remind me of the boots with the fur

I know, I know, this looks really bad 

but I can explain

See I hit the floor

Cause I got low low low 

You know that's my jam

Ooh a dash board cam!!!! 

Say Cheese! Hi mom! 

Can I play with your baton?

Calm down, calm down, ok ok I'm already facedown! 

Oh I see what's going on, you like the rough stuff

But really man, you don't need to shove

Ouch! that really hurts

Watch it dude you just ripped my shirt

This is absurd

Don't put those ugly bracelets on me 

they're gonna clash with my necklace 

Fellas really, is all this necessary?

Especially all these lights

Rights? Yes I understand my rights

I have the right to be thirsty,

and order a drink

and if I don't, 

One will be purchased for me 

and I'll get it for free

Ummm I think that's pee running down my thighs to my knees 

All over the seats of this Caprice

That's just great! 

You know today I finally turned nineteen?

Kneeling before the altar boy

My eyes closed 

I'm preying on him

It's getting harder, 

Resisting.

I speak to him in tongue 

Licking the rosary

Each bead between my lips

Then swallowing his cross

I need saving.

Punishment.

Nail me,

I beg

I had drank the wine

Drunk whine,

"Aisle fuck pew"

And we do

I bless myself

God is good

I shout out 

Oh God, Oh God

Priest plays his organ during my services

I'm paid from the collection plate

And go in peace

To pieces

Straight to hell

Ron's Wife 

I can picture it now, our big day

It's only a few months away

I've already made all the arrangements

We probably should announce our engagement

My Dear, I've been plotting this

I mean planning this, for just about a year

All the details are in order

Down to every last one

All I need to know from you is who you want to come

My family is totally excited

They've already been invited

I've converted Catholic to Jew to ensure I'd be able to marry you

You have no idea how much I'm looking forward to being your wife

To being a part of your life

But first I guess it would be important to have our first date

Would be kinda strange, wouldn't you say?

Jumping right in, as if this marriage was arranged

Over the next couple weeks I'm going to spoil you rotten 

Anything you want you got it

I'll cook for you and make sure things are clean

I can be everything you need me to be

You'll see, I know how to put a man under my spell

It won't be long before I have you saying in love you have fell

And everything I want will fall into place

I can't wait to walk down the aisle as that wedding march plays

Gaze into your eyes and say I do

To become Mrs Ron S***** would be this girl's dream come true

Once I wear that ring there's just one other little thing that I have in store

Access to your computer is what I want even more

I'll head straight for the delete key over rhymes in All Time 

So I can say to SamanthaBish, a final bye bye. 

I'm just a dumb girl posting on this app, Rap? Ummm what's that? What's a rhyme scheme? What's a bar? I really don't know how I even got this far

Maybe cause I use sex to get attention

Yeah that's probably the connection

Cause talent I possess none  

Creativity, greatly lack some

Having a hard time graspin this concept of writing, but I'm trying

Oh yeah and what's a punchline? 

I'm clueless like Brittany Murphy, before Eminem fucked her in the factory

Matter of fact it may be my story

How I came to be

Maybe fucking Mark was all a con

Really the truth is 

I fucked Ron

He boosts my respects in return for sex

That must be the case

How else would this dumb bitch be in first place 

Some of you guys be smellin like the onset of puberty, 

Still wearin the crusty dried up cum filled drawers from this mornin's jerky ✊

Girlie's writing entries into diaries 📝

offering Styles their ovaries

Down on their knees at their bed side praying 🙏🏻 

"Harry, impregnate me please, I'll give you enough sons to start up a new 1D"

Saying, "Fuck Zayn, his solo career sure to go down like Aaliya's plane ✈️ "

Please direct me to the nearest exit, 

I'm desperate, running from being subjected to any more of this lame bullshit

A self proclaimed hypocrite 

Cause I am just as immature

All excited to see Taylor Swift's tour

She's got that red lip, classic thing that I like 💋 and I got that death grip, panic thing that I hate, so I ALWAYS choose to sedate 💊,  fearing the heights holding the stadium seats tight, white knuckles and ghostly face 👻, yet I go anyways

I've got my strange ways, shame I don't blaze, probably would help to settle my nerves

But I'd be packing more pounds onto these dangerous curves ⚠️ 

A head so unstable like a three legged table, I am unable to balance shit out

No doubt I've tried, being a Libra and all

But I just keep hitting my head against the wall I've been chained to

Trying to change too, like toxic socks 🙊 This blocks needin a good cleaning

Been worrying feeling unimpressed by the stuff I've been reading

Quality of work around here is on a rapid decline 📉 including mine

All these text book subjects for rhymes, committing crimes against creativity Aspire for higher, feeling like there's a whole lot of liars, minors 👲🏼pretending to be older, old timers 👵🏻 putting up pics of their kids, boys posing as smoking hot women 👩🏻, but what's worse is all the believin' and respectin' 🔥

Sometimes makes me want to scream, 

Are you all fucking dumb??? it's so hard at times to keep calm, am I the only one paying any attention, or am I just full of uncalled for suspicion? What are your thoughts? What's your position? Or perhaps just maybe you'd like to do some admitting...

Haven't flirted with Ron in quite awhile

But he's on my mind so I'll write this one 

retro-kittycity style

While publicly I've behaved, privately...

Let's just say I have moments where I stray

To visit his data base, where we interface

Interrupt him at his workplace 

Enjoys when I get him glitchin

Always anxious to study my algorithms

I bet he'd like to get me embedded

Give me that hard drive all night

That line's pretty straight forward, not much there that's been encrypted

These visuals are far from basic

Shows me his python asks if Id like to taste it

I tell him watch his tongue or I'll byte his main frame

Still waiting on that ring, so I can take his domain name 

Bet his run time's impressive

Slow to down load

Probably a command written deep in his PHP code 

Comes in handy while he has me laptop

on his desk top

Mind's corrupted can't stop

When he overloads on my motherboard

Core processor and fills my ports

Leaves his hyper text all over me

Thank god my virus protection's up to speed

In case you didn't know

Just making sure it's clear

Of course I also blow

Him away with kisses

Placed upon his dick

Licking him up and down

Perhaps this makes you sick

Maybe even shocked

That I would be so bold

To tell you what I do to him

Let the truth be told

On our bed or on the floor

I am happy to obey

Dropping to my knees

This is where I'll stay

This pussy cat is his

He pets me all the time

Especially when he pulls me close

And takes me from behind

I am fucking Mark

In case you did not know

Perhaps not a word is true 

And simply all for show

You showed an interest

In what it is we do

Of course it made me think

Did you want to wear his shoe?

(Sorry, I didn't know how else to get your attention lmfao)

Spill the beans

Best if you just come clean

Girls have a way of knowin

In your behavior, it be showin

We always know when you've gone astray

You guys are reckless in the games you play

Two steps ahead, is a woman's way

We're well in tune with your ways

Been studying you for days

From the moment that we meet

We don't miss a beat

Never do we blink an eye

Collecting data on you like the FBI

Profiling and mental notes

Just waiting for you to choke

And choke you always do

You're just so careless, this is true

But as for us, 

Our asses know how to cheat

It's a charge we'll always beat

Just smarter than you

Nothing really you can do

That shit we can always hide

In this talent we take pride

We know how to cover our asses

You're just blind refusing to wear your glasses

We know it to be the case

And we'll keep smilin' in your face

Knowin' your boy just had his dick in our mouth

While you took that trip down south

That's what happens when you leave us alone

Someone else is getting blown

We will still answer your call 

While in the clubs bathroom stall

Riding that guy we just met

Pussy dripping wet

You won't have a notion we're doing wrong

We can maintain composure way too long

Talk as if nothing's happenin

Go ahead applaud our performance, get to clappin

We are the masters of deception and lies

All fallin under our good girl disguise

Never underestimate powers hidden under delicate lace 

To distract and amaze 

RAISE awareness, gain worship and praise

HARD to ignore racks on display

Well stacked and sensually contained Carefully restrained, so cleavage's maintained

Main stay for guys wanting to lay

Head on a soft pillowy chest

Squeeze to relieve stress

Press dick between bouncy full breasts  

Have him saying, "Oh hell FUCK'n YES!!" Leave behind nice creamy iridescent stream 

Similar to grandma's pearl necklace left to me

Kiss nipples, nibble gently with teeth

Hold between fingers to tease

Caught up in how they look under plain white tee and wet bikinis

Like girls be saying no to teeny ween-ies 

Tell these flat chested bitches, forever lookin tweens

What it is that you need 

At least some triple D's to be kept happy

Inadequate, get some saline

Talkin implants baby, plastic surgery

Find you a daddy to front you the G's

So your front be the key

Difference between Ford n Ferrari

Get a hot body 

Tits like a Barbie

Tell Skipper sorry 

Ken prefers you livin largely

With magic mountains like Dolly

I know I'll catch hell for this shit

Setting back the women's movement

But I say fuck it

Give these gentlemen the TITS 😜

Wants me, Just my Candie's 

Standing on hardwood

Game of risk, Wish these hearts would

Fingers tight on wrists

Shed this denim skin for him

He's pressed against the gloss

Parted lips, we pause

I gush n eyes dilate

Spine chills, anticipate

Tongues reciprocate

Phenylethylamine detonates

Begin the rock n rhythm

His friction, be a-dick-tive

Restrain, pulls taut the chain

My collar, he goes deeper

Dares to defy darker

We're partnering with monsters

Russian Roulette with loaded pens in fist

Professional's game of risk

Just wish these hearts would

My palms n knees on hardwood

Pats head, Says I'm good

Own's me metaphorically 

Words, bridging reality to fantasy

Cavity rattled, Shoulders n every disk

Sensual game of risk

Wish these hearts would 

Got my back against the hardwood

Maybe these hearts could

Some unfiltered shit

Some, "hey look, I fooled you, I'm a guy, wanna see my dick?" kinda pic

Or it's an ugly chick

and you all fall for it

The long lashes, the pouty lips

clear skin, face thin, whitest grin

"Thank you InstaBeauty, we tricked them"

Apps all over the place that can fix anyones  plain Jane face

Turn eyes sultry grey

Superimpose tattoos on chest

and there you are

Tongues out, obsessed

"Wow, this is great keep it up, wanna collab?"

This girl can't fucking rap 🙄

Bitch just wrote the dumbest rhyme in RB's history

But you all so damn thirsty

You will shower her with respects

Hoping to get on kik and connect

Funny how none of these ho's have any apps to further communicate

Or have had the same profile pic up for two years straight 🐸☕️

Now I'm not implying they're fakes

I'm saying they're fakes

I've had both types of profile pictures up

Natural, and doctored up

I've always been real with y'all

Spoke the truth

kittycity is a character

I've said it before

Be careful with what you choose to believe in

Most likely that shit's deceiving

Start giving respect to what you're READING 

NOT what your dick is SEEING

Quite a pair of lies your girl has there 

Got all these boys paralyzed 

Eyes mesmerized by the size 

Maybe I'm being pessimistic 

But that girl ain't nothing but a paraplegic 

See it appears to have cost her 

an arm and a leg bro

Cause only thing workin for her now

is the upper torso

But dayum that false set tho

I bet you hit that falsetto fo sho

Cause she into that freaky shit

I see you in the ICU

Tried that erotic asphyxiation

didn't you?

I call that shit tie dying, 

cause you almost die trying

You asked for a tossed salad

She gave you a seizure dressing

Need to be more selective 

with what you're attempting

Always know your limitations

You may end up with impotence

or incontinence 

Not sure which would be worse

Not able to get an erection

or uncontrollable evacuations

Pissing pants or a dick that fails to stand

Either way you're damned